How to support someone who’s struggling with their mental health
Author: Kintan van Leeuwen
Editor: Elisah Sauerbier
May is the month for mental health awareness. This initiative started in 1949 in the United States of America and was launched by the American Health Association (AHA), in order to help reduce the stigma that many people with mental or behavioral health issues experience. Despite the efforts of raising awareness that started 73 years ago, key statistics show how pressing the need for attention towards this topic is, especially today. In Our World Data’s latest study it was shown that 13% of the world's population suffers from mental health and substance use disorders in 2022. Little Leaders Foundation (LLF) wants to help spread this urgent matter and take part in the battle to come closer to global mental health equity.
Why we need to talk about it
Mental health is a topic that is discussed more often in modern society. This could be a result of an increase of research in psychological health and the acceptance of it by younger generations. However, suffering from a mental health issue remains a difficult topic to talk about with work employers, family or even your friends. A study into mental health issues during the COVID-19 pandemic found that global prevalence of mental health issues increased during the pandemic. Global data estimated an increase of 28.0% for depression; 26.9% for anxiety; 24.1% for post-traumatic stress symptoms; 36.5% for stress; 50.0% for psychological distress; and 27.6% for sleep problems. According to World Health Organization, depression (persistent low mood, fatigue, and profound sadness) is the leading cause of disablity in the world and can even lead to suicide. Suicide contributes to over 700,000 deaths a year, making suicide the fourth leading cause of death amongst 15-29-year olds.
Stigma associated with mental health illnesses can prevent people from getting help. One’s willingness to talk about depression and suicide with family members can be the first step in getting help and preventing suicide. A symptom for clinical depression can be the feeling of hopelessness, therefore it can be helpful for people in a close relation to a person with depression, to know that professional treatment offers good prospects. Nearly 90% of people with clinical depression can be treated successfully with psychotherapy (and if necessary medication combined together). The first step to getting help might be the hardest process in one's journey to healing. Therefore by showing support and understanding, you could play a pivotal role in one's willingness to have treatment.
Signs that your loved one is struggling with their mental health
You can tell that your loved one is “zoning out” and find it hard to concentrate, even when they are occupied with a task that is usually interesting to them.
They are getting more impatient with you and others close to them. This can also be seen in emotional outbursts, even when the ‘triggering’ event is small and seemingly unimportant.
You can tell that your beloved is asking for constant reassurance. This can be a result of them not feeling confident or secure in their skin.
Your loved one starts to avoid making plans for the future. This can be a result of them not knowing what their mental state will be like when the time comes.
You might detect a change in their physical appearance. Some mental health issues might manifest in physical symptoms. Extreme weight gain might be indicative of long edurances of high levels of stress. Whereas extreme weight loss can be indicative for other mental illnesses. Besides weight fluctuations, a lack of someone's care for hygiene or appearances can also be a result of mental health issues.
They want to leave events early. This could be a result of getting overwhelmed and overstimulated quickly.
They start to isolate themselves and cancel appointments, even with their loved ones.
They engage in protective mechanisms. This can be seen when your loved one preserves thoughts or starts to build walls around you or others close to them.
They constantly have a sensation of dryness in the mouth, also noticeable in tightness in their jaws or throats, and struggling to find the right words to say.
They start to have sleeping problems, either excessive sleeping or the lack of sleeping.
What you can do for someone with a mental illness
The 101 rule in providing first aid in emergencies, and even seen in airplane protocols: is to help yourself first. It is important to note that you can not help someone if you are not taking care of yourself first. However kind it might be to want to help a loved one with mental health issues, always remember one thing: set boundaries and do not try to take on a professional form of caregiving. It is important to understand that whatever relationship you might have with someone, as a partner, a parent, a child or a friend. The role of a beloved is always more significant to someone as that of a healthcare professional. Secondly, providing informal care to someone with a diagnosed psychiatric illness can be incredibly straining on anyone. Being an informal carer for someone with a diagnosed psychiatric illness even comes with the higher risk of developing depression or anxiety yourself.
When you know someone is going through hard times, talking to someone is the first step to take. It can be difficult, however, to start a conversation about this topic. Sometimes it is hard to respond to general questions like “how are you?”, as nowadays we often use this phrase as a greeting without expressing genuine curiosity. If you are looking to build trust and express your care for someone, you will need to go deeper. Therefore, we have listed a couple ways to check in on your loved one, that might help kick off a healthy and in-depth conversation.
Ask open questions and ask something specific
“What have you been thinking about?”
“How did … make you feel?”
“What does … feel like for you?”
Offer to do an activity
“Do you want to get dinner on Friday?”
“Would you like to go for a walk?”
“Want to talk on the phone tomorrow?”
Hold space for them
“I care about you.”
“I want you to know that you can feel comfortable expressing your emotions here with me.”
“You do not have to respond.”
“It is okay to not know all the answers right now.”
Expressing curiosity
“I really want to understand what you are going through.”
“What has been the most challenging aspect of …?”
“What are some of your recommendations for working through anxiety?”
Offer support
“I am just checking in on you.”
“I am here if you need me.”
“I want you to know I care about you.”
At LLF we believe that knowledge is power. We hope that this article might find you so that you can help others around you. You have the power to be a friend, a partner or family member that can play a positive role in the healing process of a loved one. There is also no shame if you find yourself triggered after having read this article, and want to reach out for help. Sometimes it is not possible to reach out to a loved one, fortunately there are warmlines available to help! Warmlines are free and confidential, run by trained peers that can offer professional advice or just a listening ear. Always know that there are many people with a passion for helping others who are standing by for you. They are merely a phone call away.
For Belgium: 1813 (or) Chat on website
For Germany: 0800 111 0 111 (or) 0800 111 0 222 (or) 116 123 (or) Chat on website
For the Netherlands: 0900 0113 (or) Chat on website
For the UK: 0800 58 58 58 (or) Chat on website
For US: 1-800-273-TALK, (or) text “MHA” to 741-741
For Sri Lanka: 1926 (or) text 1926
Is the country that you live in not listed in the above? Check out this website that might guide you to the right warmlines: https://www.supportiv.com/tools/international-resources-crisis-and-warmlines
